Here it is in simple language:
We run this site so that people like you (and people you like)
can use it for personal entertainment, information, education,
communication, and cybergratification. So go ahead and browse
around all you like. You can even download information from the
site but only for non-commercial, personal use. If you do,
though, don't fool around with the copyright and other notices
all over the information. They're there for a really good
reason. And don't even think about distributing, modifying,
transmitting, reusing, re-posting, or anything else uncool with
any of the information, including the text, images, audio, and
video, for public or commercial purposes unless we give you
written permission. And it's not likely we will.
If you visit our site, you're also legally obligated to [read:
stuck with] the terms and conditions listed below and any other
law or regulation that applies to the site, the Internet, the
World Wide Web, or Vancouver, WA. You shouldn't access or
browse the site if you have any problem with that, because once
you start, there's no turning back -- you are bound by [read:
stuck with] the terms and conditions.
So here's the scoop on our Top Ten Rules for Cybersurfers who
visit our site:
1. For everyone's sake, just assume that everything on the site
is copyrighted unless we say it's not. So you can't use the
stuff except how we say you can on this page or anywhere else
on the site without our written permission. And like we said
before, it's not likely we'll give you permission anyway. In
fact, even if we wanted to, the lawyers are likely to veto any
deal anyway. So it's better you don't even ask.
2. While we try to include accurate information on the site,
we're not promising you it's accurate. In fact, we're not
promising you anything except fun and entertainment. So if you
use information on the site, you're using it at your own risk.
Don't call us if there's a problem because we assume no
liability or responsibility for errors or omissions on the
3. We and anybody else who helped us create, produce, or
deliver the site are not liable for any damages you suffer when
you use it. In particular, the lawyers want you to know that
our disclaimer includes direct, incidental, consequential,
indirect, or punitive damages arising out of your access to, or
use of, the site. Without limiting the foregoing, everything on
the site is provided to you 'AS IS' WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY
KIND, EITHER EXPRESSED OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING, BUT NOT LIMITED
TO, THE IMPLIED WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A
PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON INFRINGEMENT.
Please note that some jurisdictions may not allow the exclusion
of implied warranties, so some of the above exclusions may not
apply to you. Check your local laws for any restrictions or
limitations regarding the exclusion of implied warranties. Ugh!
What a mouthful from the mouthpieces. We put all of that in
quotes because we couldn't figure out any other way to say it
that the lawyers would accept. But here's the bottom line --
we're not responsible if you're browsing around and the site
damages you or your computer or infects it with any nasty
viruses. We sure hope that doesn't happen, but if it does,
don't call us.
4. If you don't want the world to know something, don't post in
on the site in any bulletin board or anyplace else. That's
because anything you disclose to us is ours. So we can do anything we want
with the information you post. We can reproduce it, disclose
it, transmit it, publish it, broadcast it, and post it
someplace else. Not only that, we can even use any ideas,
concepts, know-how, or techniques you post any way we want to,
including, developing, manufacturing and marketing products or
other stuff using the information you post.
5. Pictures of people or places shown on the site are either
our property or someone else's property we're using with their
permission. No matter what, it's definitely not your property.
You or any of your net-friends can't use it unless we said you
could on this page or somewhere else on the site. And guess
what -- we won't say yes. So be careful, because unauthorized
use may violate all sorts of nasty laws. Be smart, keep the
stuff you download to yourself.
6. There's also a lot of trademarks, logos, and service marks
on the site that either we own or we're using with someone
else's permission. So don't think you have any kind of license
or right to use them, because you don't and we're not about to
give you one. If you don't leave them alone and mess with our
trademarks, logos and service marks on our site, we'll probably
go ballistic, so will the companies that own the other
trademarks, logos and service marks. That means that we're
likely to sue you or to ask a prosecutor to come after you for
messing around with our property or the property of others.
7. You'll probably notice we've linked our site to lots of
others. While it’s great, it doesn't mean we've looked at all
those sites, much less checked them out periodically to see
what's going on. So don't blame us if some site you link to is
bad or has information on it that offends you or your pets. Go
ahead and link, but remember, you're doing it at your risk.
8. That brings us to what you do on our own site. While we
occasionally listen in on chat groups, or look at the posting
in our discussion groups or on our bulletin boards, we take no
responsibility and assume no liability for the content of those
locations or for any mistakes, defamation, libel, slander,
omissions, falsehoods, obscenity, pornography, or profanity you
might encounter when you visit such places on our site. And
don't be stupid by posting or transmitting any unlawful,
threatening, libelous, defamatory, obscene, scandalous,
inflammatory, pornographic, nasty, mean, or profane material or
any material that law enforcement types may consider a criminal
offense, get someone in court on a civil lawsuit, or for that
matter violate any law -- anywhere, anytime. While we certainly
respect your privacy, we have no choice but to fully cooperate
with any law enforcement authorities or court which might ask
us who might have posted nasty stuff on our site.
9. Software that we use on this Site is protected by all sorts
laws. Because of that, you can't download or send the software
to anyone in the vacation travel spots of
, or any other country
where United States has embargoed goods; or (get this) to
anyone on the United States Treasury Department's list of
Specially Designated Nationals, the U.S. Commerce Department's
Table of Deny Orders, or the FBI's Most Wanted Internet List.
As if that were not tough enough, if you live in or are a
national of any of those lovely places, you're not even
supposed to be reading this page!
10. We're also allowed to change this page and anything else on
the site any time we want to. That's because it's ours and we
have the programmers who can do it. If we do change the page,
then you're bound by [read: stuck with] those changes, too,
whenever you visit our site.
If either of us wants to make something of it and wants to
"sue" (a dirty word) then we have to follow these rules of
engagement. (sort of according to the Geneva Convention):
This Agreement is governed by the laws of the State of
, without regard to principles of conflict of laws.
To the extent you have in any manner violated or threatened to
violate Twin Peaks Press and/or its affiliates' intellectual
property rights, Twin Peaks Press and/or its affiliates may
seek injunctive or other appropriate relief in any state or
federal court in the State of
, and you consent to exclusive jurisdiction and venue in such
Any other disputes will be resolved as follows:
If a dispute arises under this agreement, we agree to first try
to resolve it with the help of a mutually agreed-upon mediator
in the following location: Clark County. Any costs and fees
other than attorney fees associated with the mediation will be
shared equally by each of us.
If it proves impossible to arrive at a mutually satisfactory
solution through mediation, we agree to submit the dispute to
binding arbitration at the following location:
, under the rules of the American Arbitration Association.
Judgment upon the award rendered by the arbitration may be
entered in any court with jurisdiction to do so.
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The information contained on this web site is provided for your
general information only. We do not give medical advice or
engage in the practice of medicine. We under no circumstances
recommend particular treatment for specific individuals and in
all cases recommend that you consult your physician or local
treatment center before pursuing any course of
All information and content on this web
site are protected by copyright. All rights are reserved.
Users are prohibited from modifying, copying, distributing,
transmitting, displaying, publishing, selling, licensing,
creating derivative works, or using any information
available on or through the site for commercial or public